not about weight

First I will update you on my weight. I have met my target weight of 173. Yessss! Now, on to more important things.

My grandmother is in the hospital, and they are expecting her to pass soon, but I'm praying so hard for a miracle. You just don't understand. I am an optimist. I believe in miracles, and sometimes we hear about people who are told they are dieing, but live much longer. Something miraculous happens, and they defy the odds. That's what I am hoping for. That's what I need.

When I found out these "were her last days", I felt my heart break for the first time in my life. I feel a sadness that I've never felt before, but my prayers always consist of, "I believe in miracles, and if she has lasted this long, then maybe the doctors are wrong." I want a miracle for her. Just a little while longer...

All I can think of are things like, "When she's better, I am going to go take her on a vacation to the beach. I am going to do this for her.... I am going to do that for her..." I know it's God's will, but I can't help but think that this is not supposed to be the end for her. But as long as she is fighting the cancer and the many, many other medical problems in her body, I know that there is some reason she has not passed yet. Some reason. I'm not sure what the reason could be, but I will hold on until the end, and pray for a miracle. Pray that the doctors are wrong, pray that somehow her body fights to stay with us a while longer.